‘Haven’t you forgotten to add an article before stubble in the title?’ asked Specky when she read what I was writing.
I paused and replied, ‘No. And that is because I’m not writing about A STUBBLE. I’m writing about stubble, the word.’
‘So that means a stubble isn’t always the sort of despicable out-growth that makes many of us say – I hate that unclean stubble!… right?’ asked Specky.
I nodded my agreement and then told her that stubble was also a British word for period. ‘So one can add a stubble to any sentence, so to say!’ I added, trying to explain the grammar behind stubble.
‘Wow!’ said Specky, ‘this means there must be other meanings of stubble that we aren’t aware of.’
I said, ‘Yes, and this is precisely what I plan to explore today.’ Of all the uses of stubble that we found, the funniest was stubble wrap that was a combination of ‘stubble’ and ‘bubble wrap’. The word indicated the one bubble, or numerous bubbles in bubble wrap that will not pop like the rest and just flat out frustrates you.
‘Look at this one,’ shouted Specky, ‘a stubbleache is used for a person who has only stubble in the moustache region. And you must admit that you’re in this stage every time you trim your moustaches by yourself.’
We then listed out three of the more hilarious ones:
A stubble burn happened when female facial skin gets removed because of kissing a guy with a lot of stubble.
The medical world mentioned a stubble gut as a painful contraction of muscles of the body leading to loose bowel movement.
Stubble pits defined three day old armpit hair that is short and sharp!
‘And by the way,’ I added, ‘stubble is also the end of a wheat or hay plant after it has been harvested. But this is one type of stubble that is 6-12 inches long, sticks vertically out of the ground and is very stiff!’
Specky smiled at this and pointed out that farmers in the US prairies were also called stubble jumpers. She also said that stubble had a lot of usages and word formations that were outright sexual in nature. These words included a stubble muffin, stubble nuts, and stubble trouble…
We decided to leave stubble epistemology right there and I told Specky to focus on the clean-shaven parts of my face!
My series of 10 posts on smelly stubbles:
The stubble debate
The tricky twins!
Men in pursuit
Part and parcel
Twenty-four years later
20 December 2013