Specky asked me, ‘How far would you go to get closer to someone you love?’ I looked at her with smiling eyes and replied, ‘As close as my truth would allow me to.’
I explained to her later that I wouldn’t ever promise to get stars or the moon for her and anyway, even without them we were close enough. And yet the truth is that we weren’t as close or as comfortable when we started off as a couple. So what did I do or what was it that she did that brought us closer?
No, there was no lifting her and going up 500 stairs without taking a single break. There wasn’t any ‘I’ll ride a motorbike blind-folded for you’ or ‘I’ll write a hundred love songs for you in a single night’ or ‘I’ll stand on one leg in ankle-deep water throughout the night’ kind of stuff that so many romantic novels are made of.
So what did I really do that made us come closer?
Well, I’ve let off one secret, if you’ve noticed. I didn’t write ‘me’ or ‘her’ but used ‘us’ when I wrote: ‘So what did I really do that made us come closer?’ What matters then is how fast I dissolve my personality into her personality and accept what I see as a result. But then something must’ve happened to facilitate this dissolution.
Yes, one heartfelt poem happened. But then that happened because I was already writing poetry and all that I wrote was true and undeniable. Let me see if I can recollect those lines here…
A cursory touch
Kept coming back
Until I admitted
That I was in love
No, the lines aren’t the complete poem, just a few of the lines that seemed to have done the trick because after reading them, Specky… (Oops! she was just Sangita then) looked up, smiled, adjusted her specs on her nose and said, ‘I think I’m going to start reading more of your poems. I like them.’
I looked at her and asked, ‘Will it be fine if I call you Specky?’
Getting closer to each other doesn’t need a very complex set of moments, you see. The simplest of conversations can trigger it.
But then this is what I did. She too must have done something to trigger our movement towards each other.
Yes, it happened that night as we lay down and I hesitatingly moved towards her with the intent to begin with a kiss. She said, ‘Not here. Not now.’ And then after a pause, she continued, ‘The neck will be fine.’
So the neck it was. Well, necks can be sensual enough.
And so it went on throughout the night until I noticed the sun gently knocking to let its hues come in the room through the drawn curtains. That was when she propped herself on her elbows and kissed me on my lips.
I’m sure Specky had travelled a long distance that night and competed with the Sun God to reach me before it could. And that was when it dawned on the two of us that closeness was more like a merger of emotions, a taste of each other and the realisation that this is what would remain a pleasure for all the mortal years that lay before us.
So did we actually write each other’s name in blood or went running around trees singing songs or fighting villains to win each other? Well, if a few heartfelt lines written for someone isn’t like writing her name in one’s own blood, then what is? If spending a night fighting shyness or innate inhibition isn’t like vanquishing villains, then what is? So yes, the two of us did travel far to get closer.
The truth is that my heart is all my own… and to get closer I need to be ready to offer it to the person I love. If this happens, two people end up with two hearts that are different but somehow beat as one and despite anatomical differences can actually announce to the world that they are meant for each other.
And now if you still want to see how far I let my creative heart go to remain close to my love, read the posts on my blog and you’ll see Specky peeping out of a lot of them. She will be there advising me, cajoling me, discussing with me, getting angry sometimes or even sulking… but always managing to put me on the right track. Yes, my creative outpourings are specky-sautéd, so to say… and I love it as it is.
My heart is still my own but I know that there is another heart not far that matches beat to beat and is always ready to be there to let the music of togetherness continue without a pause… and leading the two of us into the core of an existence where only couples are allowed entry.
Go further to get closer:
16 March 2014