‘Life is lived in 140 characters,’ said Specky that fine evening as she took a sip of Black Dog TGR. I agreed with this notion and replied, ‘True. We are so like tweets, full of spelling errors, without the grammar of sanity, and in a hurry to say everything fast.’ Specky laughed.

Sometimes I wonder if twitter has overtaken humans in the art of being tipsy… it swerves and wavers and oscillates, it bombards you with the sort of wisdom that only a scotch-sponged brain has the ability to, and it does it all with aplomb. Twitter isn’t twitter at all now. It is tipsy twitter for sure. And yes, as Specky observed, we do live our lives in 140 characters, don’t we? Yes, 140 characters have the power to bring out hundreds of activists out on the roads in minutes, or massacre the dignity of an honest man, or lead us all an inch closer to our dreams, or experience an emotion that is luxurious and exciting… almost like a sip of Black Dog TGR!

It was that evening that we decided to explore the existence of scotch on twitter… and we did discover a lot. There were tweets that informed, or played politics, or said smart pithy things, or cursed, or just gushed in exultation. Just look at the way Neil oozes out poetry for a scotch on twitter…

Neil E. Thomson ?@nthomson2:
Scotch Whisky heightens the abstract & abstracts the heightened

Neil E. Thomson ?@nthomson2:
Scotch Whisky facilitates the absence of negative emotion

Neil E. Thomson ?@nthomson2:
Scotch Whisky facilitates the absence of negative emotion

Neil E. Thomson ?@nthomson2:
Scotch Whisky is the nectar of the gods

It is tweets such as the ones I came across that can make anyone literally fall in love with this robust malt that is mellow woody and has a complex yet delicate aroma of sherry and whispers of soft peatiness…

But then there are also those tweets that sound close enough to being beautifully rounded and with a fruity sweetness with teasing light warm peat… just as the Black Dog TGR is to the palate, and almost in resonance with tweets such as these:

Chris Mac ?@MacCocktail:
“Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples.”? Warren Ellis

Chris Mac ?@MacCocktail:
“Scotch whisky brings out a real you.”? Vivek Thangaswamy

Chris Mac ?@MacCocktail:
“The beginnings of Scotch whisky are hidden in a dense fog of mystery and legends.”? Oliver Klimek (@OliverKlimek)

Then we came across tweets that came with tasty bits of scotch notes that a real lover of whisky will appreciate…

Craig lumsden ?@lumsdengolf:
A fine Scotch Whisky is better with age 🙂

Dr Ed Wild ?@DrEdWild:
Scotch whisky is like normal whisky, but wrapped in sausage meat and breadcrumbs.

Some tweets came with their brand of information, and we loved them like the ones we stumbled upon earlier…

Steve Hickey ?@stevehickeydsgn:
This Indian restaurant has a great scotch whisky collection and it’s playing blues music. Awwwwww yisssssssssss.

Nick Jobe ?@JobeyWan91:
@sweetcatholic @bluecollar_man Oh, excuse me… I’m a Scotch whisky guy. “Whiskey” is that Irish or American stuff.

The Spirits Business ?@spiritsbusiness:
These are the top 10 nations which consume the most #Scotch #whisky http://ow.ly/x6rWh

This tweet linked us to a blog post that gave us all the statistics on whisky imports and also ranked the nations with the US emerging as the highest whisky consumer… Brazil, Mexico, South Korea, Taiwan, South Africa, Germany, Spain, Singapore, France, US.

The Spirits Business ?@spiritsbusiness:
Scotland’s SNP criticises UK gov for allegedly charging companies to promote #Scotch #whisky in UK embassies http://ow.ly/wZPyU

James Withers ?@scotfoodjames:
Time for a @WorldWhiskyDay fact. The French drink more Scotch Whisky in a month than they drink Cognac in a year. Sláinte mes amis!

Brian O’Neill ?@brianoneill82:
Scotch whisky is the world’s most popular spirit, sold in over 200 markets.  @ScotchWhiskySWA http://goo.gl/BA29VL  #WorldWhiskyDay

Tweets also tended to flit from being utterly blunt to being revelatory in nature, from filling us with the latest buzz to being a bit of a show-off, from going on and on and on about scotch to being subtly indirect in approach. Here are a few examples of these types…

FIPSmode Squad ?@anthonypants:
@dropkickpikachu look I’ll be honest with you I have No Idea what the difference is between whiskey or whisky or scotch or scotch whisky

Bucky Barnes ?@BalefulFiend:
@HavocSalvatore know, pretty much anything from rum, scotch, whisky, vodka, gin, you name it. I like to mix it up and live dangerously.

thinkdrink ?@ThinkGresty:
Why India may soon run out of Scotch whisky and other premium liquors http://fb.me/22ULAl0QH

Val Mansell ?@ValMansell:
Genuine Scotch Whisky – Made in Japan. Classic #Minder

Anthony ?@mediascaper:
They’ve got a name for the winners in the world.
This tweet brought to you by Scotch whisky.

With so many varied tweets in front of us, we had no alternative but to agree that twitter is tipsier than the two of us with all these pegs of Black Dog TGR already sloshing inside us.

Tipsy twitter

Tipsy twitter

 

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Disclaimer: The content of this post is meant only for people above the age of 25.

 

Arvind Passey
20 May 2014