What a relief! I’ve just heard that Cupid, the love God has just joined a fringe group. I didn’t even ask which… I mean, does it matter if this group goes and catches couples in parks or whether it insists on bringing in jehad in love or if its members just hand out religious texts in a bid to convert… all that mattered to me was that Cupid in a fringe group would mean strange propositions.
So yes, this Valentine’s Day is surely going to see some eerie proposals. Now don’t look towards me for innovative proposal ideas… I’m a happily married man. But if you insist, I’ll begin by objecting to people calling their love a ‘CRUSH’ as it gives me an impression that she (or he) is a bulldozer running amok in a pasture! So I’ll just tell her:
You aren’t big enough to crush
But good enough for a sloshy mush
Don’t you ever dare to become big enough to crush
As that might make the Cupid in me go silent-n-sush!
So yes, if I were to propose today, I would have begun with the four-line rhyme that you’ve just finished reading… and then I would go on to tell her the great story of India if Cupid were to go wonky and join a fringe group.
You just might ask me, ‘A poem and then a story? Are you sure your valentine would want to spend the rest of her life with you after the ordeal?’
Well, it is humour more than love that makes people stay together, don’t you agree? I’ve seen people serious enough to make even ‘uncomfortable silence’ wince and warp existence either remain in uneasy coexistence or noisily part way. Humour and acceptance of humour makes relationships thrive… so I would put Cupid in story and if it makes her smile, it would also indicate that she has accepted my proposal.
So if cupid were to join a fringe group he would surely shoot the first arrow into a policeman in Meerut. Imagine the surprise of couples in parks when the policeman goes to them and sing:
I love to see love all around
Love is the best thing to be found!
Imagine members of Cupid-struck Ram Sena holding rallies with banners that say: ‘Encourage love!’ or ‘Ram Sena membership open only for couples!’ or ‘Walk together with your girl-friend and remain safe!’ The story of Mangalore will make it to the headline in such a different way!
It will be fun to hear Muthalik, Togadia, Yogi Adityanath, Sakshi Maharaj, and Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti add ‘pyar’ with their chants of ‘Har! Har!’… and mention ‘pyarzade’ in their speeches. It will be equally interesting to hear people like Imran Masood, Salman Khursheed, and Azam Khan uttering Cupid-inspired slogans like: ‘Love knows no religion’ or ‘Save the nation, promote love!’
With the kind of jehads we have seen these past few years, it is only Cupid intervention that can save the contorted mind-sets of our leaders and religious leaders. O this Valentine’s day, let the fringe groups be Cupid-struck and who knows we might see an end to honour killings and fatwas on love!
24 January 2015