True. There is history being created all around and only a few are lucky enough to be a part of it. Take today. Take me, for instance. I am pretty sure I have a coffee date with Katrina… The Katrina, if I may add.
‘Katrina?’ murmured a friend, ‘but the grapevine talks about #KatrinaMissing and people in Bollywood are worried and concerned.’
‘Well, I don’t know about Bollywood worries,’ I replied, ‘All I know is that I shall go missing in another few hours, so might as well start tweeting about #ArvindMissing along with #KatrinaMissing if such tweets interest you.’
Yes, I am the one who spotted Katrina in Ratnagiri dressed like some girl who is about to go on a long hiking trip… blue denims with a black polo, no jewellery and the latest Geox on her feet… you know the ones that come with a net breathing system to keep feet comfortable even after long walks. Did I know she was The Katrina? No, of course not. My first thought was, ‘She is a charming girl and would be accepted by any Bollywood director if only she could get rid of her long-walks-and-short-blogs sort of look.’ So I just walked up to her and said exactly what was in my mind. I mean I always do it… all the time.
To my utter surprise this girl with the long-walks-and-short-blogs looks smiled, removed her sun-shades and said, ‘I am Katrina.’
‘Great,’ I said, ‘Nice meeting you, Katrina. I must say you look quite like the Katrina of Hindi movies.’
‘But I am her,’ this girls says.
‘You are, are you?’ I say and then stop. I know I was confused because then for no reason at all I added, ‘If you’re the real Katrina, I’d like to know what you are doing here in Ratnagiri where there is nothing besides a bit of history.’
‘That’s for you to guess,’ she said, and then with a twinkle in her eyes, added, ‘but you know what, I’ll treat you to a cup of coffee in the afternoon.’ She then waited as I blinked a few times before dawdling out words that loosely meant ‘yes, I agree’. Thus the coffee date came to be and I will be leaving soon to meet her at the Thibaw Palace restaurant here.
I must admit though that my mind is in a real tizzy. Ratnagiri is a port city on the Arabian Sea coast and the district is the birthplace of four Bharat Ratna awardees Dhondo Keshav Karve, Acharya Vinoba Bhave, Pandurang Vaman Kane and Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar. Another two Bharat Ratna awardees Sachin Tendulkar and Govind Vallabh Pant have their native places in this district. This town is the town of Lokmanya Tilak… there is mathematics oozing out of every pore… there is an urgent sense of business here… but what is here that interests The Katrina?
This was the moment when I read a tweet about #KatrinaMissing and I wondered aloud, ‘Ha! There is surely some shoot that is being planned in this history-filled sleepy port town.’ But something told me that this could not be it. My mind reasoned, ‘Why would she be dressed like a girl with the long-walks-and-short-blogs looks? Why would she be here alone, without the tell-tale film crew?’
There you go… I know I have let you know only a part of all the wayward thoughts going on in my mind… but you, I’m sure, can make wilder guesses and so why don’t you mention your wild guesses either in the comments below or just tweet with #KatrinaMissing? I know Katrina will talk about all this online hullaballoo that I am trying to create during our coffee date today… so just help me get some masala to get started.
#Humour #KatrinaMissing #spoof #Untruth
26 March 2015