‘Dogs are in the new,’ said a friend.

I said, ‘Well, dogs were always in the news.’ I remember reading a quote about a man biting a dog being news and not the other way round. Dogs are in maxims, metaphors, similies, and even find a place in abuses. So they are practically everywhere. On leashes and without.

But being a dog comes to in a new twist now because of Abhijeet, the singer who tweeted: “Kutta rd pe soyega kutte ki maut marega, roads garib ke baap ki nahi hai I ws homles an year nvr slept on rd.” Fine words and the poor singer has been hopping from one studio to another trying to justify his less than 140 character tweet to whoever cares to listen.

Now if a tweet is a bark, we have a tussle between sleeping dogs vs barking dogs poised to storm our psyches. But hey, I have no intention of troubling a poor unemployed singer who was homeless once. However I do wonder who qualifies best to beat dogs at what they are good at. Actors? Politicians? Or the poor homeless who slept that fateful night unaware that Salman Khan would be driving the life out of them?

I guess dogs are easy to train. I’m sure actors too are more inclined to be trained well and politicians have the option of going on sudden 58 days of sabbaticals to get trained. But the poor of this country are incorrigible… they are still doing what they were doing years back and no amount of training seems to help.

Well, dogs are easy to groom and adapt well to apartment living. Now come on, don’t tell me that you haven’t heard of actors and politicians grooming their wards and other relatives to take their position? And we know so well how politicians are reluctant to leave the apartments allocated to them even once they are out of power.

The poor in the country are too busy trying to scavenge their next meal and I’m sure they have forgotten what drooling is all about. Only actors do it on the screen and think they are imitating the poor… but they are so wrong. A drooling potential is surely an established domain for dogs but actors somehow do it well. Politicians of course cannot be called politicians unless they drool well.

Dogs have a tendency for mouthiness or love to nip, chew, and play-bite. The poor cannot do this at all because most of the time they’re destined to have a dry mouth and a parched throat. But chewing adversaries and nipping to get attention is so popular inside the parliament as well as in Bollywood that Abhijeet probably missed considering before he compared the poor of this country with dogs.

Yes, dogs are friendly towards strangers, they have a potential for weight gain, and they are full of a wanderlust potential. Look at the pictures of our stalwarts in the field of acting and in politics and you’ll know how well they adapt to weight gain. Both these categories are forever drooling for foreign trips and, therefore, have no qualms about being friendly to even strangers.

Finally, dogs have this horrid tendency to bark or howl and this is one thing that the poor of this country cannot afford to… I have seen them behave more like silent puppets following directions or signs to tell them where they might find work, something to eat, or a place to sleep. You just have to open the pages of a newspaper or listen to the news on the television to know how our politicians and actors love to howl and bark about the most inane of issues. They do it all the time.

Now before someone thinks I am calling an actor or a politician a dog, let me just say that I am not. I do not have the intent of doing that… so don’t conclude wrongly. All I am trying to say is that the poor are not dogs… and that dogs are not really pathetic creatures who deserve to be crushed under the wheels of big cars driven by drunk actors. I love both sleeping dogs as well as barking dogs and I know that Salman is a wonderful human being. But Abhijeet just wasn’t being human when he tweeted the worst ever tweet that I read so far.

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This article was published in ‘The Education Post’ dated 11 May 2015…

2015_05_11_The Education Post_The Real Fiction_Sleeping dogs vs barking dogs

2015_05_11_The Education Post_The Real Fiction_Sleeping dogs vs barking dogs

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Arvind Passey
12 May 2015