‘Let the Wookiee win,’ blurted C-3PO in Star Wars but what I heard was ‘specky’ and so I looked at Specky, my wife and smiled.
She smiled back but asked, ‘What happened?’ By this time I was aware of my blunder and I just nodded my head which really meant nothing and we let our focus swivel back to what was happening on the big screen.
It was only later that I realised that the HP Star Wars Special Edition Notebook was probably a greater fan of the characters than I could ever be and it wasn’t just a technical mass of a a sixth-gen Core i5 processor with 12GB of RAM and a 2TB hard disk and NVIDIA GeForce 940M GPU… it was far more than a mere machine that can have its display upgraded to a Full HD touchscreen as well.
When I repeated this tech info in front of Specky, she raised her eyebrows like students do during quiz contests, and said, ‘Exqueeze me?’ I had to quite literally show her all the external signs on the display machine in the store before she rolled her eyes and said as Ahsoka Tano did in the movie, ‘This is a new day, a new beginning.’
Well, a device in a box that displays Stormtroopers and the X-wing Star Fighter Guidance System, with Aurebesh lettering replacing English, and an image of Darth Vader giving strength has to be something beyond the ordinary world. I’m sure despite ‘You don’t know the power of the dark side’ boldly confronting you, the Notebook is all set to lighten up a user’s days and smiles. The packaging might symbolise ‘battleworn’ with its distressed finish but a 15.6-inch diagonal FHD anti-glare display and a 1920×1080 pixels resolution in a 2.3Kg and 26.1 x 38.4 x 2.5 cm machine that comes with a 2.3GHz Intel Core i5 6200U processor, a 8GB DDR3L (Max 16) RAM, and a 1TB Serial ATA Hard Drive are poised to win battles for a user.
Specky heard me out and then replied, ‘You remember what Leia said in The Empire Strikes Back?’
‘No,’ I said.
‘She said: I don’t know where you get your delusions, laserbrain,’ said Specky and laughed out loud. I had no reason to delay my telling her that the Notebook came with Bang and Olufsen speakers, a NVIDIA GeForce 940M graphics card, and a 2GB graphics memory.
‘And all this floats on a Windows 10 modified OS,’ I said with a flourish that resembled the one that Vader did in The return of the Jedi.
‘Shutting up, sir,’ said Specky and I knew that she was quoting C-3PO in A New Hope.
We agreed that the machine was actually geared up rather well to fight our intolerance to knowledge and information in a pretty entertaining manner. The most stubborn mind would also not be able to resist playing with a touchpad that has a heads-up display from Luke Skywalker’s Death Star trench run… and imagine sending secret messages using the special Aurebesh font. Specky even pointed out a quote by Karen Traviss in Order 66: ‘Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori’wadaasla.’ In normal English this would be: Nobody cares who your father was, only the father you’ll be. Life will be so much like this Mandalorian saying only if we had many more fans of the new HP Star Wars Special Edition Notebook.
This machine doesn’t limit the similarities with Star Wars to just images that are external or a standard Recycle Bin that has been replaced with a Death Star icon… there is the added charm of Star wars beeps and bleeps, and even the Aurebesh system font. Charming, isn’t this?
‘Your focus determines your reality,’ as Qui-Gon Jinn would say. The focus of the creators of this machine is clear… it is to make sure that they follow Yoda and his principle: ‘Do. Or do not. There is no try.’
So Specky and I decided to talk in the Star Wars way as this was the surest way of linking to the chromosomal intent of this machine. As we reached home that evening and Specky was alighting from her cab, I asked, ‘You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought!’
‘That’s Leia in A New Hope,’ said Specky and then went on, ‘Let me quote Obi-Wan Kenobi here. ‘Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.’ You’re lucky you came by the same cab.’
‘Ah!’ I said, ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi also said ‘In my experience there is no such thing as luck.’ It is my sensible conclusions that matter most.’
Specky laughed and said, ‘I find your lack of faith disturbing.’
‘That’s Darth Vader,’ I said, ‘but do remember that ‘Somebody has to save our skins.’ as Leia Organa said.’
‘You mean something obviously,’ said Specky. I shrugged my shoulders at her grammatically perfect response but I did flinch when she said, ‘The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.’ That was Vader in Return of the Jedi and I was trailing way behind by now in this battle of quotes. Specky made her final triumphant move when she did some quick search on her smartphone and made me read this quote:
Han: How we doing?
Luke: Same as always…
Han: That bad, huh?
This was an interesting game and we’d have gone on and on but we’re mortals and are limited by our own memory and stock of quotes. I probably need to win this machine now to have access to the massive stock of the 1,100-plus images including themes, galleries, screensavers, wallpapers, behind-the-scenes photos, storyboards, movie posters, classic photos and set and costume designs. #AwakenYourForce is my newest hashtag motto! And as I utter this, I try to invoke the Goddess of destiny to appear and make this Wookie win!
28 December 2015