‘Are Romeos the new mosquitoes?’ asked a friend after having read the news about the new anti-Romeo squads in Uttar Pradesh, ‘and these squads the latest in the world of repellents?’
‘Two questions together,’ I replied, ‘are like Romeos and mosquitoes knowing they are in the WANTED list and yet searching for an escape route.’ I told him that Romeos are as ubiquitous as mosquitoes and both are forever buzzing around in search of different victims with a frequency that is unnerving. It isn’t as if the situation was any different years, decades or even centuries back but it is only now that everyone is suddenly conscious of the need for a counter-attack and a call for the repellent commandos to prepare for multiple surgical strikes.
A mention of surgical strikes invariably gets me a lot of attention but this time I wanted to remain logical and full of scientific temper instead of suggesting theories that may seem like a lot of Rowling howling the Indian way. And so I began, ‘Mosquitoes need only commandoes from Good Knight. These guys train their commandos for both outdoor as well as city warfare. These guys are trained to keep kids safe from being hijacked by viruses and germs that mosquitoes have coated their lances and long knives with.’
‘Lances and ling knives! Ha…Ha… this analogy sounds mesmerizing.’
‘Well, mosquitoes belong to the old school of warfare fortunately and do not have a liking for torpedoes or mortars,’ I replied and then with a smile, added, ‘Those trained for outdoor warfare have two regiments. The first is called the Fabric Roll-on team and carry neutralizers having a 100% natural Citronella and Eucalyptus Oil for mosquitoes. With just 4 dots on clothes, potential victims can stay protected for 8 hours. The second regiment entrusted with this task is called Cooling gel and it targets the skin to keep it safe with a cooling gel that has aloe vera to keep potential victims protected for 8 hours.’
We agreed that effective repellents were the need of the hour and that Outdoor Mosquito Repellent, Citronella & Eucalyptus Oil for Mosquitoes, and Child Safe Mosquito Repellent formed the three major Corps from Good Knight, the agency that secures humans from terrorists called mosquitoes.
‘Before I forget,’ I hurriedly added, ‘the Fabric Roll-on commandoes work on all sorts of fabric… khadi, silk, and even wind-cheaters. They are really adaptable and go about their job with a lot of focus and never leave a clue behind.’
‘I mean stains on clothes, obviously,’ I said with a smile. We again shifted our focus on anti-Romeo squads in UP and even a simple comparison told us that these Good Knight commandos were better trained and led to lesser issues. I mean, these commandos are tested thoroughly under multiple scenarios and can be deployed during a trek, and even on a tent or camping bag. Anew set of commandos are needed only every 2 months on continuous deployment. These commandos are not harmful to pregnant ladies and even kids. However, if a smaller kid tends to lick a bottle or maybe accidently consume some liquid, gargling and rinsing the mouth is the immediate antidote and a visit to the doctor in case symptoms of discomfort persist.
‘Sounds great,’ murmured my friend and said, ‘I’ve read that these Good Knight commandos effectively exterminate mosquitoes that have the potential to spread dengue, malaria and chikungunya.’
‘You’re right’, I replied, ‘Now can anti-Romeo squads boast of these traits?’ We’ve already read about how these squads go about distressing wrongs sets of people, kids, and sometimes even pregnant ladies, if I may add. Their sensitivity training is terribly incomplete. Their dedication and focus has the potential to be directed selectively that could hamper the existence of the entire operation. And most important, these squads are led not by generals and knights but by politicians who are anyway known to vacillate in their opinions and expressions.
‘I guess I will vote for Good Knight commandos any day,’ said my friend.
02 April 2017