A little rap for Mother’s Day

This morning when I got up and switched on my laptop, I was still groggy. I had had a late night and was too full of the hundreds of words and sentences from last night’s blog writing. I could hear Specky asking me from the kitchen, to brush my teeth… well, she was preparing my mandatory nimbu-paani and a mug of tea for herself. She then added, ‘We need to call up both mothers this morning. Call me up without fail, that’s what mom said.’ I gave a short-pitched guttural ‘ok’ and then turned back to the screen.

The laptop was now live and kicking… and my groggy-consciousness had ‘thatswhatmomsaid’ reverberating in the mind and so I typed that out and pressed search. What happened after this is what has the power to wake up even the worst-to-wake-up-early sort. I saw the most mast words there on the search screen: ‘Jaldo Karo Jaldi Karo’! I smiled and clicked… and in another few nano seconds a lilting rap song started playing. It was a video song… and it was simply energising… I could sense my eyes opening wide and sleep disappearing… I could sense a wave of cool freshness blowing in from all directions… and I could see that I was mesmerized.

Well, so was Specky, my wife. This morning, let me admit, her mug of hot tea went cold and my nimbu-paani went limpid… because we watched this video again and again for at least ten times.

‘A rather charming tribute to all mothers,’ I said, ‘quite like a new-age tribute.’

Specky smiled and said, ‘I like the rap format and the words are just heart-warming, including the fart that comes up graphically as well!’

So we sat down and started jotting the lyrics painstakingly. We’ve jotted them down for you, but before you read them, you really must listen to this Mother’s Day rap and fall in love with it:

Now here are the lyrics of the rap song for you:

Trrriiiinggggggg
Jaldi jaldi karo jaldi jaldi jaldi karo
Jaldi jaldi karo jaldi jaldi jaldi karo
Jaldi karoo
Jaldo jaldi karooo

Early in the morning mera kaam hota start
chai paani, Brush,flush, please don’t fart
You can read on the pot but don’t flush the book
Don’t waste water, don’t give me that look!

Jaldi jaldi karo, jaldi jaldi jaldi karo
Jaldi jaldi karo, jaldi jaldi jaldi karo

Chew slowly, don’t burp, and please don’t drool
ye baal kyon khade hain, no its not cool
Don’t make the principal call me again
have you ever thought of using your brain!
Jaldi jaldi karo , jaldi jaldi jaldi karo
Bus aane wali hai, ufffooo…jaldi karo

Jaldi
Jaldi
Jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi
Jaldi jaldi jaldi

Quick…Hurry…run, cant you hear the school bus
Your uniform is ironed, don’t make a fuss
badmaashi nahee, no school bunking
Apne Papa pe hee gayein hain they are just like him

Jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldiii jaldii jaldiii karo
Jaldi jaldi karo, jaldi jaldi jaldi karo
Arey Bachche aane wale hai, chalo chalo jaldi karo
Jaldi jaldi ajldi jaldi jaldi jaldijaldi jaldi
Jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jallldii jaldii jaldii
Jaldi jaldi ajldi jaldi jaldi jaldijaldi jaldi
Jaldi jaldi jaldi jaldi jallldii jaldii

Kapde badlo, jootein bahar, can’t take the smell
Homework kya mila hain..jaldi jaldi tell tell
And young lady where do you think you are going
Your skirt has shrunk and your straps are showing

Jaldi Jaldi Jaldi Jaldi jaldi jaldi
Jaldi Jaldi Jaldi Jaldi Jaldi Jaldi

I don’t know, put that down
Eat your dinner, DO NOT FROWN
Get off TV and into the bed
Why? WHY? Why? Because that what I said!
We keep doing this every day of the year
And you celebrate mother’s day just once a year!

It was at this point that we noticed that the song was actually sponsored by Vanish. ‘Aha!’ said Specky, ‘these guys seem to be getting better by the day!’

‘You know someone working for Vanish?’ I asked, puzzled.

‘No, I mean the team that must have created this video,’ snapped Specky, ‘they are getting better. We never got to hear such songs earlier. And this song isn’t really going on about ‘vanish lao, vanish lao’. In fact, they are probably making their sales pitch rather gently.’

‘Musically,’ I corrected her, and then added, ‘but we also need to confirm if their website is equally subtle.’ So we did applaud the end-of-video sales pitch that went on about Vanish saluting mothers who handled tough situations every day and then added a mild ‘for tough stains, thank god there is Vanish!’ But then, after having our morning drinks, we reached out for the thatswhatmomsaid web page.

Well! Well! Well! It took us just a few seconds to understand that the page wasn’t trying to give so much gyaan about Vanish as it was aiming to give interactive pleasure to anyone who reaches it. User were urged to share their photograph or a pic with their mother and then add something witty that their mom said.

‘Let’s do it!’ said Specky. And we added a picture of my mother, wrote a pithy line and pressed ‘submit’. A picture was generated with our picture and the words we had written… and we had the option to share it on the social media. But more importantly, the web-page declared that our special picture with our mom featured on it will be posted as a card. ‘Now isn’t this truly wonderful?’ I said. So toady early in the morning we not only shared this mother’s day rap video with our parents, we also sent them a card through snail mail.

‘there are prizes too,’ gurgled Specky. I nodded my head, and said, ‘If we win we’ll buy a nice gift you the mother sitting in front of me!’

Specky smiled and then said, ‘Now get up and brush your teeth, my human art… Start your chai paani, Brush, flush, and please don’t fart… jaldi karo, jaldi karo… jaldi, jaldi, jaldi, jaldi, jaldi karo ab.’

Our rap day had just begun!