Not even God can prevent rape

Now, now, please do not hang me for the title of this post. These are the words of Aziz Qureshi, a former Governor from Mizoram, quoted form news-reports from July 2014. And if you think he is the only Indian to have a contorted interpretation of the word, you are mistaken. Sheila Dikshit, a former CM from Delhi, famously asked women not to be adventurous. Botsa Satyanarayana, the Congress President from Andhra Pradesh surpassed all form of logic when he said that though India gained freedom at midnight, ‘is it proper for women to be moving at midnight?’

Yesudas, a singer who we all have heard so many times, believes that ‘women should not cause trouble to others by wearing jeans. What should be covered should be covered.’ People like Babulal Gaur, a Home Minister in the Madhya Pradesh government recommends women to be like the ones in Chennai who visit temples regularly. Manohar Lal Sharma, the lawyer for the rapists in the Nirbhaya case believes that a ‘respected lady’ is never raped. Nanki Ram Kanwar, a former minister from Chhattisgarh is convinced that rape happens when a woman’s ‘stars are in adverse position’. Tapas lal of TMC has decided not to spare anyone who might ‘insult the mothers and daughters of Trinamool workers.’ Ram Gopal Yadav of Samajwadi party blames the vulgarity, obscenity, and violence shown on TV channels. We all know the way India reacted when Mulayam Singh Yadav defended rape because ‘boys are boys, they make mistakes’. Virender Bhatt, a judge from Delhi High Court said in 2013 that ‘girls are morally and socially bound not to indulge in sexual intercourse before a proper marriage.’ Mamta Sharma, a former NCW Chairperson cautions women to be ‘careful about the way they dress.’ Ramesh Bais of BJP from Madhya Pradesh believes that ‘the rape of grown-up girls and women might be understandable…’ Satyadev Katare, a Congress MLA from Madhya Pradesh remarked in April 2013 that women will be molested only if she gives suggestive looks. His words, allow me to quote, were: ‘Jab tak mahila tirchi nazar se nahi dekhegi, tab tak purush use nahi chedega.‘ All quotes picked from an article published by Scoopwoop. And, by the way, there are others who have blamed chowmein and the use of mobiles as being the real culprits in rape incidents.

After reading all these remarkably twisted quotes of the decision-makers and legislatures of the country the one thing that I am sure of is that none of them really understand rape. These people are probably unaware that rape, besides being the ‘unlawful use of one’s reproductive organs’, is also when a woman is ‘drugged or forced into sexual activity’ if I may borrow two varying perspectives from the Urban dictionary. This may sound like the final definition but even eyes, words, gestures, inappropriately touching, and sometimes wayward thoughts have the power to go way beyond the boundaries of molestation and hover around what is called rape.

If you have read the way the quotes in this article went, you will know that any solution suggested by them is going to be preposterous. However, let me still list the recommendations of people in leadership positions on how to counter the menace of rape in the country. They suggest that women need to:

Visit temples
Stop wearing jeans
Forget being adventurous
Join Trinamool
Do not switch on the television
Opt for a ‘proper marriage’ whatever that means
Disallow your body to do anything that is suggestive
Pray that you are never grown-up
Stop midnight trysts
Cover every part of your body
Blame the stars (both in the zodiac and on TV shows)
Do not ask God to intervene
Use the hashtag #RespectableLady both on and offline
Throw away your mobile phones
Stop ordering chowmein in restaurants (well, no takeaways too)

Come on India, are you serious about doing something to let rape fade away. I know rape isn’t an easy monster that will whimper and walk away if someone says, ‘Go away. Shoo!’ Rapists have brains that do not respond to such innocuous interjections.

Is there really a way out of this difficult situation? Shouting ‘beti bachao!’ isn’t going to deter rapists. Even going after the Khaps is like asking bullocks standing on mounds of garbage not to eat plastic. Pepper sprays invariably happen to be buried somewhere deep inside a purse or bag. Smart apps need internet. Emergency calls to helpline numbers need more time and space than is there during such incidents. Karate needs regular practice and a one-day demonstration by bored instructors isn’t the answer. Blah-Blah on online and offline platforms is just blah-blah in the end and depends on literacy levels. Charchas may help a tea-seller remain a prime minister but wouldn’t move the evil resolve resident within a rapist. Seminars and lectures are for the literate and the responsive. Loading school curriculum with yet another class period on morality is going to be another load of information to be mugged up. Not that these actions aren’t needed. They must be there. After all, the hoardings, lectures, demos, blog posts, newspaper editorials, tv and radio spots, and the adverts on ‘swachhata abhiyan’ have begun to make us all less litter-prone than we were a few years back.

So what do I think is the answer? The one thing that we need is a mind-set transformation. This happens primarily inside a home. And no, I don’t mean parents need to sit with their kids every night and tell them that rape is evil. Open and uninhibited communication needs to be encouraged even when contentious and sensitive issues pop up at home. Why have a separate set of toys for boys? Why must only the girls be asked to help in the kitchen? Why should a better school be sought for boys? These are questions that are relevant inside a home.

Segregation of space for males and females needs to be non-existent. No reservations and no queues. Well, not even in the buses and other modes of transport. The message is that we are all equal and must offer our seat to a man carrying a load of groceries or a woman carrying heavy office files. Why must all males huddle together at a party or a get-together? You get the point, right? These are actions that the community needs to adopt. I would also recommend that schools, colleges, universities, and institutes encourage co-education.

There can obviously be a lot of other actions that are equally valid. For instance, why must a female smoking a cigarette or holding a glass of beer be an oddity? Why can’t males be as involved in work within a home without being trolled by some others? These are changes that must be encouraged in families and the community. The government, of course, needs to go on with their campaigns and other activities that they are already doing. It is a combination of everything that may finally lead to a stage where woman may cease to be a temptation if she walks alone on a lonely road at midnight.