Pushkin makes a calendar all by himself

When someone in these smartphone-infested days sends me a message saying that parenting is for a MOM, I am tempted to write back LOL. These modern day acronyms have a way of seeking revenge, you see. But seriously, a parent isn’t just MOM but has a PAPA too… and this isn’t the same as HAHA. No, I do not intend to dwell upon the PAPA-MAMA controversy (or MAMA-PAPA, lest someone objects) here because FYI, we are going to be talking about a kid here. Or kids, if this is how a reader wishes to understand. Be free to add an S wherever you think it fits in. There have been hundreds of instances where the MOM in our home did her bit but there were always things that were left to me. Being interested in writing all my life, I did everything the way any writer would.

So how do PAPA writers manage parenting? It is simple. They wait until the kid has stopped discovering new worlds full of rolling potatoes and easy-to-destroy outer dry skins of onions and one fine summer day is standing in the middle of the Study at home with teary eyes and mumbling, ‘I have holiday homework to do.’

‘Sure,’ I said, ‘what is it that you have to do?’

‘I don’t know.’

I decided that rephrasing it might be better and asked, ‘What does your teacher want you to do?’

‘I don’t know.’

He just offered me the half-a-page of typed something that he was holding. I was tempted to take it from him, but decided not to, and said, ‘Read it.’

He looked hard at the complex villain he was holding and said, ‘D’. After a pause he went on, ‘Are A Dublew’. Another pause and some phonetic calculations later, he looked up and smiled, ‘Draw?’

‘Draw.’ I said, ‘Great! What do you have to draw?’

By this time Specky, the MOM in this story, who had been listening to our conversation, came rushing out of the kitchen and said, ‘He has to draw a calendar. You love drawing and sketching and you must help.’

Now do not assume that this is how I got sucked into the complex art of parenting. We had been taking Pushkin, our son, all around Delhi to make him aware of the good, bad, and ugly features of the city… from book fairs to trade fairs, from emporia to restaurants, from parks to monuments and we had been reading out stories and poems that he loved and repeated. There were stories that he could read aloud looking at the pages without even knowing what was written. He even turned the page at the precise word. He was able to draw cartoon characters by looking at them and could colour them within the lines. We played games together. I guess, this is all a part of parenting without all the MAMA-PAPA borderlines popping up.

That day with his holiday homework was different. That was the day I thought about his having to create a calendar and said, ‘Hmmm… it is simple.’

Pushkin nodded his head and waited. I’m sure in his mind he conjured some calendar popping out magically from nowhere… and he would then rush out to play with his friends. This didn’t happen. Why? Because I had decided by then that I would apply some writing mantras and knead them with the dough of parenting. I divided his calendar holiday homework into seven bits that are also, in many ways, connected to the art of writing.

1
Do not fear complex tasks.
Complex tasks have simple steps.

We are talking about parenting sometime in the early nineties, you see because I am now a sixty-plus guy writing this piece… and those were times when calendars were popular. We had one that my friend in Kodak had gifted me, so don’t even think about Kingfisher lovelies when you imagine a calendar in this post.

I took down the calendar and we spent some time understanding why one year needs to be divided into months and days. Pushkin was a sharp kid and quickly assimilated all that we were talking about. An hour later he asked, ‘So I must draw on twelve pages?’

‘You said it!’ I said, ‘Twelve pages with one for each month.’

‘With one drawing on each page,’ he said.

‘Yes.’

‘And dates. And days. And also the month.’

‘Yes.’

‘Where?’

Well, dividing a complex task into simplified bits is fine but there are obviously a lot of other things to be looked at. Pushkin had not just understood the art of simplification but had a question that would lead to the next stage. Believe me, the art of writing has a lot in common with parenting.

2
Show and don’t just tell.
Observe, understand, and then do it right.

Quite obviously, I had shown him an example and discussed the intricacies of a calendar with him. It was Pushkin who had observed and understood the concept. He was the one who had asked the most important question: ‘Where?’

‘What do you think?’ I asked.

He seemed confused, so I pointed out the spiral that was holding twelve sheets of the calendar, and said, ‘Do you think this works?’

He looked at the calendar and then brought his drawing copy, ‘This is what I have. But this is not like a calendar.’

So we went out for a short walk to the stationary shop where he found a spiral notebook with blank drawing sheets.

Task accomplished!

3
Big shots are small shots who keep shooting.
Each word helps complete a sentence.
Sentences build paragraphs.

It isn’t easy for a small child to visualize twelve pages in a calendar that have to be made from scratch. Quite rightly, Pushkin was baffled. I showed him his school reader and said, ‘This book was not written in one day. Right? This book has a lot of sentences.’

He looked at the book and said, ‘Lot of words.’

‘Alphabets come together to make words. Words make sentences. So what will you do first?’

‘First?’ he asked, and then waited.

‘The first word comes first,’ I said, ‘and what will come first in a calendar?’

‘January.’

‘With a picture that we will decide,’ I said. And thus we got on with a serious discussion as to what must be drawn and coloured first. The picture came. And then came the colouring. The name of the month followed and then a grid with dates and days. Believe me, this wasn’t as easy as it sounds here. But Pushkin understood the concept in one day and the first month of his calendar made him smile.

I could see that he now had the confidence that this could be done.

4
It is never too late to begin.
Spend more time but do it well.

Once we had got to May, there were a couple of functions to attend and his work was derailed. The following day was a Saturday but he was to go for a birthday party of his friend. When he returned, it was late in the evening and he was tired.

‘My calendar,’ he said in a small voice, ‘it will never be complete.’

‘It is never too late to begin,’ I said, ‘writers who think it is too late to begin can never write books. Let us do a part of the next month before we sleep tonight. Ok?’

‘Ok,’ he said.

5
Corrections never hurt.
Wrong steps need immediate action.

If you think he was drawing perfect figures all the time, you are mistaken. Lines went berserk, colours seemed out of place, and even the dates got mixed up many times.

‘It is good to identify what went wrong,’ I told him, ‘and then see if a mistake can be corrected.’

‘But there will be a smudge there,’ he said.

‘No harm done,’ I said, ‘corrections never hurt.’

6
Question every short-cut.
Ask questions even when you think you know.
Never assume.

There were times when he looked at me with appeal in his eyes that clearly said, ‘Please do this for me.’ And every time I smiled and asked him to do it without help.

‘But you can ask questions,’ I said, ‘I am here to solve any problem. There is no problem that doesn’t come with a solution. We will find one.’

We have the internet today that is full of information that comes to our rescue when we are stuck and need help. But this wasn’t the case then. Yes, we had a lot of books… and plenty of artworks in those books that I was able to identify and offer as inspiration.

If there was a figure that he could not handle, we drew rough sketches on spare pages. ‘Never assume you know everything,’ I told him, ‘there are books with us to help you. If we cannot find the right easy way of drawing something here we can go to the library.’

7
Know when you deserve praise and then celebrate.
No praise does not mean you haven’t done well.
You will be known by what you do.

The calendar was finally done a day before school was to start. We had thought of doing twelve pages but ended up using all the pages in the notebook and the calendar went way into 1992. I’m sure he was proud of what he had accomplished. However, when it came to projects being selected for the annual exhibition of holiday homework, his calendar wasn’t in the list.

Not there in the exhibition!

No award.

Pushkin was devastated. I said, ‘I don’t think you must worry about this. Let us go to this exhibition and see what others have done.’

Most projects exhibited were obviously not done by kids of his age. To our surprise, his teacher walked up to us and said, ‘Pushkin’s calendar is the finest. I have it here and he has got the highest grade for this work. We could not put it on display because most parents love to see what they have done.’

There was an important lesson here. I told Pushkin later that his teacher had praised his work. Yes, this was reason enough for us to go and have our dinner in a restaurant.

Parenting vs writing

To my mind, the art of #momology (or #popology, if you wish) is so much like a writer taking baby steps towards creating something that is worth reading. No, the awards aren’t necessary. Likes do not matter. All that matters is that the act of creation must give pleasure. Making that calendar pleased Pushkin and he was happy. Writing this post makes me as happy as he was way back in the early nineties.

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This post is a part of #Momology blog train hosted by Thoughtsby Geethica, Slimexpectations, Mummasaurus and Truly Yours Roma sponsored by FirstCry Intellikit, Instacuppa, Diet Funda, Hugs n tugs, Tina Basu, Unorthodoxpeeps, Lotus Herbals baby and Shumee toys.

I would like to introduce Alpana Deo ( http://mothersgurukul.com/ ) as the next one in this blog train. As there is no one before me in this train, there is no one to thank. 🙂

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Arvind Passey
13 February 2019