No dynasty law in the jungle

Ranthambhore/ New Delhi

A group of senior politicians have returned from their weekend safari in the jungles of Ranthambhore Wildlife Park. Our senior correspondent talked to them and we bring to you an exclusive insight into the mind of our netas.

When asked about tigers, Mr M-fenku simply said, ‘There is no dynasty law in the jungle. Any tiger who feels he can do more justice to the eco-system in an area will come and mark it. Then the area is his.’

‘So what does he do with the tiger who was already there?’

‘He tells the less powerful ruling tiger to stay within his limits and quietly leave for some other area. The process is as simple as the voting we have. The new tiger gives a roar and all animals break into what is called ‘calls’. The new tiger smiles and tells the old one that he has voice majority with him.’

It was AK-49 who spoke next and pointed out that where ever there is sparseness in the forest cover, tiger sighting becomes better. ‘So you see Mango Aadmi Party wants to point out that like in the sparse ground forest cover of Ranthambhore where the tiger can be sighted even if he is a good 200 metres away, we will be able to catch the corrupt if there is no thick and impenetrable forest cover.’ He then went on to clarify that development comes when there is clarity of vision which is what knowledge is all about.

‘So sir, do you want us to make even Corbett as bare as Ranthambhore so that tiger sighting gets better there?’

‘Who is talking about tiger sighting? You take this MAP cap and wear it for a month. You will also be able to see deep into the corruption wilderness that India has become.’

RaGa had been hearing these two and raised his right hand to be given an opportunity to talk. When asked to say what he thought, RaGa said, ‘See we need to make sure that every cub is under the tutelage of a tigress. It is women who can give the tiger cubs the right sort of training so that they don’t grow up into becoming uncontrollable rapists and Fenkus like Mr M here.’ He went on to say that he would introduce RTI so that every animal in Ranthambhore would have the opportunity to know the past movement plans of the tiger. ‘This will help them plan their own safety. And because it is my party that will introduce RTI in the jungle, their votes will go to me.’

RaGa smiled. But M-fenku scowled and said, ‘I will introduce the G model inside Ranthambhore. And anyway, there are temples that I have noticed there. I am sure they are all pracheen ones and they need to be protected by the VHP and RSS.’

Jaya wasn’t interested in all this and had already yawned a dozen times and so to wake herself up, she swished her black robe and said, ‘Listen. Listen to me. Listen to Amma. Did you notice how animals were prostrating wherever I went?’

‘They were stretching themselves, madam,’ said Kaa without removing his dark glasses.

‘You hardly know anything about conservation in a forest, Mr Kaa,’ said Jaya, ‘you have grown an unsustainable jungle of corruption around you. So you keep quiet. I like the jungle because I saw animals either prostrating or looking down or just looking silently towards me and waiting for me to speak. I like that. But I was not allowed to take my handheld loudspeaker inside. This is unfair and I am going to protest.’

AK-49 jumped when Jaya mentioned the word ‘protest’. He said, ‘We have a copyright over this. I am even prepared to sleep there on the rocks.’

Lalu bhai was happy at this and said in his style, ‘Good hai. Take your jhadu with you and clean the environment there.’

The discussion was getting out of hand and the correspondent was trying to ask relevant questions but the political bigwigs were cross-talking and shouting and the decibels reached such a crescendo that all our man heard was Netaji who said, ‘Make me PM now and I will send them all to Ranthambhore forever. At least they will entertain our foreign tourists there.’ To this, Didi said, ‘Hum aapko nahin bhejenge kya? Aap jayenge. Humne bola na, aap jayenge. No, don’t speak when I am speaking. If you had let me have a president of my choice, we could have spent our lives together.’

‘Animals. Please talk of animals. Please tell us what you think of conservation. Please tell us what you will do to raise awareness about conservation and help us #SaveOurTigers,’ wailed the correspondent. But the politicians were too busy to listen, until a podgy old man in a white cap crawled from under the mass of squabbling politicos and said, ‘I can sit on a fast-until-death inside Ranthambhore and draw the attention of the world to its needs. But first let me get my team from Ralegaon.’

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

The contents of this post are not aimed to hurt any individual, party, or sentiments. This is my response to the topic: ‘Invent a hot and sensational news headlines and write a story about it this weekend.’

Arvind Passey
27 April 2014

Note:

#saveourtigers project where Aircel and WCT are actively involved… helped us come closer to conservation in Ranthambhore!
Aircel on Facebook
#saveourtiger on Facebook
Wildlife Conservation Trust
Save Our Tigers Initiative on the web

#SaveOurTigers

This post was also adjudged as a WOW! post by Blogadda…