There is no doubt that our world that anyway has a fair share of violence, divisiveness, and hatred needs and deserves to be #fuelledbylove and mutual respect. But wait, it isn’t easy to define love… I am sure it has nothing to do with the public display of cuddling and kissing that you see under the trees and bushes in Humayun’s Tomb in Delhi. Or on Marine Drive in Mumbai… or in the café of Husaini Gufa in Ahmedabad… or in any other city in the country. They may be touching each other but what we see isn’t touching, so to say. This isn’t the music of love and the sort of impact of deep bond that I want to talk about.

By the way, I am also not talking about mutual respect where only humans are involved. The trees in our parks and even this one that I came across in Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary is probably not appreciative of the mercilessness of someone engraving a meaningless heart on its trunk. Is this heart-warming? I’m sure this is as far away from having anything to do with love as the vulgar public display of affection that one sees all around in India. I’m also not talking about the way love gets its share of publicity on the walls of monuments. All these are fuelled by anything but love.

Trees and monuments are regularly defaced. Saw this one in the Bird Sanctuary, Bharatpur. This isn't #FuelledByLove

Trees and monuments are regularly defaced. Saw this one in the Bird Sanctuary, Bharatpur. This isn’t #FuelledByLove

Compare these forms of mutual respect with what happened a few days back while we were visiting Fatehpur Sikri. Our guide was taking pains to explain every little nuance from whatever he knew about history and architecture when I said, ‘Please give us some time to take pictures also.’ This was because we were to go out of this particular monument to go to the Jami Masjid and would not be allowed to re-enter.

He paused for a few seconds and then said, ‘Not everyone I take around listens to what I have to say. You are all listening. So please listen to my story of this monument without a break and I promise that I will ask the authorities to let you all re-enter to take photographs.’ Well, when we came back, the man at the entry smiled and allowed us in.

Let me tell you about the time when I asked the driver of the Uber cab that I was travelling in to tell me more about his strategy, if he had any. To my surprise, he explained to me how he had identified hubs where maximum calls were received and ‘I always drive to those hubs after I leave a passenger at a destination, sir. This ensures that I am not sitting idle for any period as I prefer driving a few kilometres to reach a spot where I know calls will come.’ Well, what he said as he left me at my destination is why I quite the incident. He said, ‘Sir, not many commuters prefer to talk to us. But you did and I loved the time you were in my cab. I just want to inform you that we drivers also rate customers and that I am giving you the maximum stars. Thanks. Hope we meet again.’ This was heart-warming indeed… I was rated well! Of course, I too showed love and gave him a good rating with a comment… but the point is that mutual respect and bonds are all about the realisation that you are being appreciated for something that you have done. This feeling is almost similar to the feeling I experienced as I watched this video where India, loving back, and the formation of a deep bond converge in a rather touching manner:

Some days I get a feeling that those who I see defacing public property or are cuddling and kissing in the open, are probably those who have lost the true meaning of romance and need the most attention. They are the ones who must understand what Steve Hall meant when he wrote: ‘The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.’

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#FuelledByLove

#FuelledByLove

#FuelledByLove

#FuelledByLove

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Arvind Passey
02 March 2016