Of late I’ve observed a strange cycle of truth… the whiners have started winning. Look at our politicians and you’ll know what I mean. Look at the bureaucrats and their transfer requests and you’ll know what I mean. Look at the way the auto-wala whines away to make him win a few extra rupees in fare. Look at the way our bloggers whine when they write crappy posts and want the judges to give them some prize. Read online forums and you’ll see how whiners get admirers fastest. It is whiners spreading their tribe in all directions.

Therefore, I insist that all of us who win must stop winning and start whining. Join the gang, so to say. The time for the whiners has arrived.

What I mean is that when you win because you have the talent or you have done or said something deserving or you are a go-getter or you are simply brilliant in your observations you are doing the rest of the society no good at all. You are winning honestly, and honestly, that’s a rather vile step on your part. You shouldn’t really go on winning and make the rest of the world drown in their wells of whining anonymity. Why can’t you just lie low for a while and play games at Kcasino or relax doing nothing at all or just go on a vacation and leave the field open for the others to come and grab the trophy once? Or stop doing whatever it is that you do in a winning way and let the whiners have a field day?

Come on, aren’t you winners the sort of people who keep talking about the validity of igniting and re-igniting passions? Aren’t you always talking about putting an end to sabotaging action or being positive all the time? Well, prove to the whiners then that you can step down, crawl to a stop, and are willing to lift your whining brethren to show them what it means to win. Join the whiners and then you can go on your winning spree unrestricted.

Whining is the new wine of success! Drink it and you’ll know how to get up on the stage and whine away about how the opposition hasn’t let you take a single good step for the common man. Drink it and you’ll start writing humour pieces where you whine and rant away to glory and have other whiners-in-learning come panting to comment and ‘like’ and follow you. The fine art of whining has spread itself all over the newspapers, all over the blogosphere, all over the kingdoms, dynasties, and fiefdoms in every divided and undivided state left in this country. Whining is in the air and is going rapidly in all directions and pollinating successfully the wilderness that winning is all about.

Real winners are, in reality, a minority. It is the whining winners who have captured almost all the seats everywhere. And you know what the best thing about these whining winners is? They let their howls of whining glory get wilder and louder and more incessant when other whiners whine their way up to the winner’s pedestal. There was a time when everyone looked up to the winners and said, ‘Wow! Here is someone I’d love to emulate.’ Now, it is no longer true because whiners love to clamour and scramble their way up the ladder. Every spot everywhere is almost full of clawing whiners… and the winners, where are the winners? Where do you think the winners are? What do you think the winners are up to in this mad scramble of the whiners?

The winners are busy analysing and writing about whiners. The winners are calmly listening to the whiner-chant all around: ‘We whine and we win!!’

‘So what do you really want me to be? A winner or a whiner?’

Well, the whiners are sashaying up and down the ramps and have no idea where the start is nor where to end it all… and they’ll soon be exhausted, not knowing what to do with triumphs are they have managed to hold on to for this long. The whiners then finally fall exhausted and they need a shot of first-aid and realisation that real winning never comes by because of whining. It is the real winners who will slowly and surely convert the whiners back to people who work hard and don’t mind losing out to those who have worked harder for a win.

This is when the nation stops whining and starts winning.

Whining is the new wine of success

Whining is the new wine of success

There is surely an upsurge of whiners posing as winners… this post explores this angle.
Dedicated to the winners who’ll be a part of the India Today Conclave 2014.
This contest on ‘Winning!’ is hosted by Indiblogger.

Arvind Passey
24 February 2014